I just got off the phone with my sweet boy to say goodnight. First of all, that kid sounds ADORABLE on the phone. I never really hear him over the phone because well....I'm with him most of the time. "Mommy, I love you." He was very tired tonight (having stayed up late and doing a lot of activities today). His voice was a little whiny and sad and it triggered the mommy in me. Which is what's inspired me to write.
I am amazed over and over again at how becoming a mom has changed me in so many ways. I am such a different person today than I was 5 years ago simply because I have 2 precious ones in my life. Any mom will know exactly what I'm talking about. Being a mom just does something to you.
I was never an overly sentimental person before having kids. I've never been one to even really shed a tear at a sad movie. Now, however, I tear up at 20 second commercials. A sad movie has me crying in no time. I love having time to myself or with my husband without the kids, but goodness I miss them like crazy when we aren't with them. It's like simultaneously loving having a night ( or more ) away and hating it at the same time. Because lets be honest, no one else can care for ( or love ) them the way you do. Having kids has changed my perspective on the world and what truly matters.
I would give anything for my boys. I am not a violent person and the thought of hurting someone else disgusts me. However, even the idea of someone hurting my babies has me up in arms and ready to do some damage. I totally understand the mama bear protective instinct! Fellow mamas, I'm sure you do too. We would do anything and everything to keep them safe without a second thought.
Being a mom is hard. I am exhausted at the end of every day. Some days, I feel like I've failed in so many ways. I didn't have time to do my makeup. The house is a mess. I lost my temper. Jay was disobedient over and over. Gunnar was extra grumpy. I didn't take the time to show my kids or my husband how much they mean to me.
Other days, I feel like I've got this mom thing down (as if). I somehow manage to workout, clean the house, cook dinner, and spend quality time with my husband and my boys! Those days I feel like super mom. I wish they were all like that.
Regardless if the days been ideal or not, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am blessed. I am blessed to even have the ability to have carried and given birth to my boys. I know not everyone is able to do so and it's a gift I don't take lightly. They are miracles. I am blessed by the love they show me every day. I am blessed by how they challenge me to be a better mom...and a better person. I am blessed to be changed into a person who feels more and cares mores about others. I am blessed to be entrusted by God to care for these babies. To help raise them up to be the men the need to be. One day, far too soon I'm afraid, they will be grown and gone. I cherish each and every moment and am thankful that being called "mommy" has and is changing me!
What about you? How has being called "mommy" changed you?
